Denmark is a Prison?

Nay, McDonald's is.

Is there an escape?  Is there a better job for unskilled laborers? This is the best there is.  Get used to it.

A fun guy came through the drivethru, to 'complain' after he already paid. 

'hey I ordered a cheeseburger last time and I got an eggplant.'

'an eggplant?'

'yeah, hahahaha just messing'

'obviously'

I used to think I was one of the few weirdoes who walks/bikes, but no I am not.  Several people do it, all for different circumstances.  Unfortunately they have licenses...

Everyone always asks me, 'has someone ever ordered a cheeseburger with a mcchicken patty on it?'

my answer was, no.  Because up until a month ago, no one had.  Then recently someone said a 'mcgangbang'. Jeez.  So I rang up the two sandwiches and went on my way.

But a mcgangbang(i looked it up) is not a 'mcjesus'(what night crew calls a dblcheese with a chicken patty.) a mcgangbang is a whole mchicken sammich inside a dblcheeseburger.  that's messed up.  Way too much bread.

Just a Cheeseburger, Please

The other day I watched a douche in a white sports car toss a can of red bull at a trash can as he drove by.  He missed.
Yesterday I saw a guy on a scooter come zooming into the intersection in front of the store.  I was handing out food at the time, and window open my mind was set to say Holy Shit as he wobbled off and tumbled into the street.  Fortunately, I changed it to Crap at the last moment.
The people in the cars, they hesitated, didn't move, unbelieving of the scene before them.  The guy's legs moved, I'm sure he tried to get up.  The people exited their cars, one lady in the process of turning, in the middle of the intersection.  I saw some phones in their hands.  And got back to work.  Cops, ambulances, the whole shebang arrived.

A lady asked, how much are the double cheeseburgers?
Well the mcdouble is a dollar, and the double cheeseburger is a dollar nineteen.
Okay, I'llhave two mcchickens.
what?

The Angus burgers got 30c cheaper.  I totally ate one.  It was totally tasty.  But they're really not that big,or filling.

Change Battery

My first day at the gas station, I changed the sign outside, with that suction cup on a stick. In the pouring rain.  I have yet to change the signs at McDonald's.
The machines break down, normally because no one knows how to maintain them or how they work.  It's almost like Zion from the Matrix.  A person said to me "Your machine is always broken!"
yeah, we're just breaking it on purpose, just to piss you off, I think.

I wish people would think before they ordered, someone spent two minutes saying
uhhh let me get.... uhhh let me get....
And when I discount the mccafe drinks, the cash drawer opens and it slams into my groin, not enough to hit, but enough to flinch in anticipation of a hit...

National Hiring Day happened, I expect an unoffical national firing day to follow.

I overheard the wandering manager person, DM? dungeon master? talking about the hiring day.  McDonald's wants to improve its image, the 'go to college or you'll flip burgers at mcd' image isn't good.  But I can't say anything, cuz that is my life.
Mcd is a girl, it worries about its image too much, cares what people think, because its image equals money.  it's all business. girls understand business, because its their everyday.
Speaking of business, prices went up again recently.  How can I ever memorise prices if they keep increasing?!

Is that an eggroll... or a chicken select?

I had not cleaned the bathroom until recently.  I was on the counter, wasn't too busy.  A guy covered in paint comes up to me.  He's very shy, or timid, about the subject.  Most people just come up and say "hey your bathroom sucks"
"uhh the uhh bathroom."
"yeah?"
"the uhh toilet" his voice was not very loud.
"pretty bad?"
"looks like it hasn't been cleaned since last night."
weird, it's 2pm already.
I finally get time to check it out...



I go in, its fine, i think. baby changer is down. I put it up.  The toilet seat is up. It all looks fine.
I pull the seat down...OH SHIT
It's caked shit on the sides/top of the seat
meaning someone's asshole was three feet wide.
wtf

I was not able to use that bathroom that day.

So you know the fish stick man?  The guy on the fish stick boxes, Gorton?  Big beard. Burly manly man.
He came into the store the other day.   Guess what he ordered?
A fish filet sammich.

Skilled Losers

Generally, all the people I've met at mcdonald's have been pretty awesome.  And interesting.  It's cool to see how they ended up there, or here.  And you just never know where someones coming from, or what theyve experienced.  It's sometimes shocking when they tell you some sad revelation, and you're surprised cuz theyre not all mopey, but if they were mopey, I'd be all 'STOP BEING A BABY'. 

There's this old lady, comes in pretty much everyday, gets a hamburger a certain way.  She said today, 'I love you all so much, I don't have a family, so...'

All that said, my main problem with the job,that frustrates me the most,

is my other crew members.  I'd fire 70% of them, if I could.  They don't care, they don't do a good job, and they're just plain not good people.

I like to pretend I'm always on thin ice at work, so I don't get complacent in my job, and start slacking off.  

I'm still figuring out new things.

Just yesterday was the first time I had to clean the bathroom.  More on that later...

I am the smiley face king.

At The First Window

I normally finish out days in the 'hole' an elbowed off area, where all you do is take orders and take money,
it's relaxing somewhat.
I always get an enticing view of the sunset, and the beautiful day that I'm wasting.
It's not a hands-free set, and I don't always have a hand free, so the people get antsy.  "I'll take a number five."  pause.  "Number five.  Number five. Number five. Number five."
Then you win the day when you say
"Crispy or grilled?"
The people who always do that are always taken aback for 30 seconds.  It's sort of funny.  Or ask for the drink,same thing happens.
It's hard to hear exactly what they're asking for most of the time.  So I've taken to trying to clarify by asking if they wanted something ridiculous.  ie:"I'll have a lrogo nytie"  "Uhh, that'll be a Big Mac with a vanilla shake?"
I noticed, a number four,(2 cheeseburgers, a no.2 when I was a kid) is normally ordered with a dr pepper.
Yesterday we kept sending people home, and the cars got backed up, and I had a nice man say to me, with his kid in the car,
"man you guys are slow as fuck."
Why thank you good sir.  I refused to comment on his comment.  And rang up his ten dollars worth of food.
Isn't there an old saying, "don't piss off those who make your food"
Can't we all just say, and be

be excellent to each other

But that's no big deal, I expect them to be ridiculously angry jerks, and we're expected to be half-wits.
And I am a chameleon, I fit into pieces regularly.
A national hiring day is approaching, I've made it my mission to scare off every new hire.

Melancholy Days

Mondays I fly,
Tuesdays I soar,
Wednesdays I crash,
Thursdays I climb out,
Fridays I ramble about

giddy with exhaustion

this is all boring and droning on same same same
same annoying customers asking about the same thing
complaining about the same thing
I'm losing it,
once more.
It cycles.

Eventually there'll be a breaking point.